Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Essay Feedback - Thank You!

I have read all of the feedback from you, and I agree with your comments. The main thing is that my essay, as it is, means absolutely nothing to the reader. I need to have a distinctive focus instead of various little, disconnected memories from my childhood.

I did some research about how important essay titles are in drawing in readers. Right off the bat, I have a problem with my current title, “Childhood Memories.” Boring, blah, and definitely uninteresting can best describe this title. I would not want to read what follows any more than anyone else would.

I am going to take the route of focusing on a few of my family members by showing how strong they were for living each day, working for the family’s welfare over their own needs. I will also incorporate some of my childhood memories.

These were good people who need to be remembered by someone, in writing, versus fading memories and thoughts. I hope my essay will accomplish that.

3 comments:

  1. i really like that idea, and the sentiment that they should "live on" in some way

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  3. You mention the title and in the workshop that having a good title helps more than I realized. I've renamed my essay too.

    I am looking forward to reading everyone's finished products!!

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